we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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