Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
