Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
