Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
