im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He did a backflip because drugs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
