A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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