You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
