Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
