I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
bring money and cleavage
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
