I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
