I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my shit smells like andre
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
