Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
