the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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