I just cut my nipple shaving
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
