Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
