i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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