So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
