i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
