i will never coherently bang her
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
