wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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