Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
