I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
