He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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