Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
