a queef is a wish your heart makes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
