i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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