I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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