it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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