I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
