thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
