the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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