i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
