If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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