am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Are we still banned from the library?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
