bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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