Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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