she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
