remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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