I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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