That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
