I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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