i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
