Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
