Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
