YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
