The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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