Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
