I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
