This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
