I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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